


love, lust, and the letter k

by noodlemio



Category: Despicable Me (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Death, Bananas, F/M, Marital Problems, Minions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 09:26:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10828425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noodlemio/pseuds/noodlemio
Summary: all of my friends hate me





	love, lust, and the letter k

**Author's Note:**

> all of my friends hate me

slumping against her desk, she pulls out her phone to text her little yellow man.

“bedo beeedo bee” tim was always such a romantic. reminiscing back on their honeymoon full of potassium and love is one of her favorite pass times while he’s at work yet lately she has been feeling unsatisfied in their marriage in more ways than one. tim was shy at first to touch her wifely bosom but once he attached his 3 fingered stomp onto her there was no stopping him from ravishing her completely and thoroughly and without a doubt he would be up the next day making her breakfast and whispering sweet nothings into the afternoon. tim has been doing all of these things but something is off, there isn't the right look in his eyes. when he says bedooo to her on his way to work, it is dead and filled with nothing and today alice swears is the day she finally gets to the bottom of this mystery, if she didn’t she would be a horrible wife wouldn’t she. tim unlocks the door, expecting her to be home but finds the house completely silent “beeeda???” he calls out, walking into the kitchen he finds a note. “dear tim, i have taken all of the banna’s and hidden them throughout the house, each banana has another note, the final banana has me ;) let's play a game.” oh his alice was a sneaky little lady, today was going to be a treat. he found the first few bananas in normal places such as behind the couch or in their sex swing and he had just found the last one, she was in their attic, covered in what appeared to be lingerie made out of banana skin. “bedo bedo b e d o” she said seductively, peeling one of the many skins from herself and flinging it to his feet. he launched his twinkie looking body on top of her, licking the many peels as she moaned. “take me. I am your little vitamin nugget” tim peel everything off in an instant, she smelled like banana’s, she was his beautiful banana and nothing would stop him from mushing her up. “stop right there mister. no mush until you tell me why you haven’t been yourself this week.” he was starting to get mad, he had no clue what she was accusing him of “bedo !! ?? be d do beeeeeeeedooooooooo !!!!!” he slipped on one of the peels surrounding them and fell down the attic stairs “timmmmm!!!!” alice cried out, sliding her fruity body to the opening on the floor. there tim laid, wheezing and covered in peels, bleeding out onto their hallway carpet, “tim, bedo? please be ok” she went to climb down and help him but the look in his eyes told her to stay “bedo. banan-” were his last words, she was left an empty peel of her former self and spent the remaining days of her life in that attic, stuffing bananas into anywhere she could just to feel at home again.


End file.
